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Bad news and a change of plans

As a part-time PA student, I have time to keep a job. So I've been working at a new hospital as a dietitian ever since I moved back from my summer on campus. It's been a huge adjustment -- I've dealt with some imposter syndrome, done a ton of training, and was finally starting to feel like I was getting in the groove.

When I was originally hired, I was told I would be in cardiology/neurology. But then due to some staffing changes, I was offered the chance to job share with a dietitian who covered the Surgical ICU. I was elated.

I cover the SICU at least two days each week, and it's a blast. The nurses are great, my pharmacists have been amazing support, and I've learned so much from the physician teams. I get to round with them, and we all have great discussions during this process. It wasn't uncommon for an attending to grab a marker and start drawing a heart on a patient's glass door to explain physiology. I was learning so much that I even brought a notebook to work so I could jot everything down!

A few PA-Cs and NPs also rotated through on a critical care fellowship, and you can imagine my eyes get wide with excitement thinking about maybe getting a similar opportunity for myself in the future. I've learned over the years that who you know matters a lot, and I could see that this environment was ripe with good connections.

 And then this week I got some very bad news. 

The woman I job share with is quitting, meaning the position in the SICU will now open up to the person with the next highest seniority. That means I get the boot. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I was crushed. Felt like an amazing opportunity was being ripped out from under me.

I get it. I have the least seniority and it doesn't make sense to prioritize me (someone who won't even be there as a dietitian long-term) over your other employees. And since I only work 3 days a week, scheduling me is a challenge.

But I've cried about it (a lot). And now it's time to just put on my big girl panties and deal with it. There isn't anything I can do about it, so I can be miserable or just accept it. So I might as well just accept it.

I'm reminding myself of the following:
  • I'm grateful to have a job in an acute care setting. 
  • I have health insurance and a good income to continue supporting myself. 
  • I don't need to be in the ICU to learn and be a successful PA student. 
  • I don't need to be in the ICU to make connections and find great clinical placements. 
  • I wanted a job to keep my clinical knowledge, and I can still do that on a general medical floor. 
  • This job isn't my forever plan; I need to keep my eye on the prize - becoming a PA. 
With that said, it's time to buckle down and study cardiology! I have my first exam of the semester scheduled for Tuesday, so I'm going to hunker down on this snowy weekend and get to work.

https://www.instagram.com/jenessawait/


Thanks for reading,
Olivia

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